For the past 20 years, I’ve been teaching yoga and building self-development for men and women. One of the common topics discussed amongst women specifically is sex and sexuality because it’s one that is not often shared in safe spaces. As an objective listener, I have heard so many similar stories about women who
- No longer have sex with their partners.
- Are overly sexual or repressed because of their insecurities.
- Are extremely closed up and uncomfortable talking about sex in any way.
- Don’t know what turns them on and have never explored it, plus many more sexual issues.
I’ve kept quiet of my personal process, techniques and self-work because sex and intimacy are very sacred to me and I have not wanted to taint the power that my husband and I have while alone. Honestly, I have appreciated this “secret” side to me that only my husband knows about. He calls me his “Sattvik Slut” which I embrace entirely because it’s meant to describe my loving lioness qualities instead of being a derogatory term as it’s commonly used in society. To my husband, I should be his “Sattvik Slut” (the word sattvik will be defined below).
Thus I can’t hold on to these treasures any longer. I have to share them with women who need guidance from someone who isn’t going to shame them or judge them for who or where they are on their sexual paths. Alas, here I am writing a blog post (a sample version of what to expect for my next book) for women, showing them how to step into their deepest and highest power.
One of the big misperceptions about sexuality is that your sexuality isn’t yours. We have been raised to believe that our sexuality is
2. Dependent on another.
3. Defined by our society.
4. Tainted by our past experiences.
But this isn’t so. We’ve been brainwashed enough. Now it’s time to consciously wash our own brains of this nonsense and take our sexuality back! Know that it’s yours and isn’t associated to anything external like the way you look, your weight, your gender, your race, or your sexual preference. It’s also not associated with anyone else like your partner, your ex-partners, your parents, your family, society, etc. Once you understand this, you will make a step into your Queendom!
In your Queendom, you reign over yourself only. You have no jurisdiction over anyone else nor do you care to have jurisdiction over anyone else. You take responsibility for your faults and your strengths. In your Queendom, you need to consider if you want a king as a partner. If you want a king but you treat him* like a pauper you’ll get a pauper. If you treat him like a king, he will be your king.
Conversely, you may want to be treated like a queen but if you let him treat you like a pauper then you’ll be a pauper as well. Treat yourself like a queen and be treated like one. Hence, creating your own Queendom!
In your Queendom, you practice and work on acquiring these qualities (in life and in the bedroom):
Knowing what you want and asking for it.
Inspiring other women instead of pushing them down.
Pleasing your partner.
Embracing your body how it is while working on self-care via exercise, eating habits, etc.
Enjoying sex and intimacy as a tool for your spiritual growth.
Being willing to be consciously vulnerable.
Listening to your partner's needs.
Listening to your needs.
Knowing your boundaries and deal breakers, and asking for them.
Being able to have sex with the lights on, do it anywhere, any time.
Accepting yourself and your partner.
Support and complement your partner.
Being loyal to your partner.
Treating your partner like a king.
All these qualities above (plus more) are characteristics of being a Sexy and Sattvik Woman! To be “sattvik” is of the highest and purest forms of a mental quality in yoga philosophy. It’s described as being poised, mature, objective, grounded, loving, devotional, etc - all qualities of a queen. There’re two other mental qualities; “rajasik” and “tamasik,” which fall to our lower desires that create agitation and laziness, respectively. Instead, as a way to reign over our own Queendom, we focus on building the sattvik qualities above.
Then, you’ll step into your own understanding of your sexuality and be independent of the external forces that make us feel like paupers instead. I invite you to win this inner battle because Your Queendom Awaits!
*I have chosen to use the pronouns “he” and “him” for a partner since that’s my experience. Feel free to use whatever pronoun suites you.
About the Author:
Rina Jakubowicz, the founder of Rina Yoga, is known for her vibrant and uplifting approach to yoga by bringing movement, philosophy, and fun to all, including Latinos and children. She is an international bilingual yoga teacher, Reiki practitioner, a motivational speaker, and author. Her new book, The Yoga Mind: 52 Essential Principles of Yoga Philosophy to Deepen Your Practice
, is a #1 Best Seller on Amazon! Visit her website
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