Liquido Blog

Life’s Beautiful Contradiction

By Guest Writer: Asha Miller



“Everything looks fine”That’s what 4 medical professionals told me before I was diagnosed with Stage 3, grade 3, ER and PR positive, HER2 negative breast cancer.

The 1 cm “bump” that I felt while shaving my underarms (a double benefit that day!) was so insignificant and tiny that people could barely feel what I was talking about, but I KNEW. Why? Because I learned to know my body and had started advocating for myself when it came to my health, and thank God I did.

I am married to the most incredible man who I call my Husbandman, and we’ve been married 14 years, this year, and parent 2 of the most insanely wonderful little humans, a 5-year-old daughter and a 10-year-old son.

Lifes Beautiful Contradiction

 

I remember days on end locked away on my little recliner begging God to allow me to live again

to hug my babies close again without pain, 

to laugh again without popping stitches, 

to cook, to sweep, to teach my fitness classes, and feel like myself again.

 

Cancer steals so much from you. Many times people outside the cancer bubble only see a sea of pink festive ribbons and slogans about saving our “Tatas” and forget about the women behind those “tatas”. I cried very few times throughout the last 2 years of battling, but in the rare moments when I finally did, it was overwhelming. 

 

These days I’m feeling it ALL. I feel the deepest gratitude because there're so many incredible gifts I’ve also been given through this disease.

The gift of JOY: the feeling of utter happiness despite my circumstances.

The gift of movement. 

The feeling of moving my body and learning to relove every inch. 

The gift of taking deep breaths and remembering you’re still alive, you’re still here. 

The gift of knowing I have the most insanely phenomenal humans that lift me up and support me no matter what. 

The gift of gratefulness, of knowing that life is short and the little bothersome things we complain and worry about don’t matter in the light of that.

The beauty of growing older and all that comes with that gift. 

Lifes Beautiful Contradiction  

Asha wears X-Back Eco Bra Glitter and 7/8 Eco Legging Helsinki 

 

Today I stand here, still fighting, and feeling ALL the feelings.

The utter fear, and the blessed Joy.

The uncertainty and the strength to know I can conquer any mountain that’s set before me with my Faith in God.

 

I’m not the woman I used to be and yet I still am.

I am stronger.

I am braver.

I am scarred up after 10 surgeries, and yet see the beauty in each and every wound.

Lifes Beautiful Contradiction 

Asha wears X-Back Eco Bra Glitter and 7/8 Eco Legging Helsinki 

 

The future seems a bit crazy since after chemo, a bilateral mastectomy, lots of radiation, adopting holistic medicine & treatments, and a ton of clean eating and detoxing, & yet the cancer is still not all gone and continues to spread.

I’m exhausted & frustrated. 

I’m blessed and so grateful.

How can I be all four of those? 

Because life is a beautiful contradiction. 

Because my life is God’s capable hands.

Because I am STILL here to live it,

& so are YOU, 

and for that, I am so insanely grateful! 

Breathe it ALL in, my dear beloved humans! 

We’re in this together! 

Love you all💕

 

About the Author:

Asha is a pilot’s wife, mother of two, and a cancer thriver. Battling through over 10 surgeries, Asha has remained determined to fight back in the war against her body. In 2016 Asha started a journey of wellness and fitness in pursuit of becoming her best self. She fell in love with the strength it brought to every aspect of her life and continues this lifestyle today. An unexpected breast cancer diagnosis in September 2017 did not stop Asha from pursuing mental, physical, or spiritual healing. Two years into her cancer journey. Asha's known for her devotion to her family, steadfast faith, love of health and fitness, activist voice, and organic living. You can find her on Instagram.


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