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Mar 14, 2019
By Guest Blogger: Eloah Paes Ramalho
After carving our space in what once were men-only spaces, and consciously re-balancing male/female representation in society, many of us women now find ourselves reclaiming something we may have lost in the process. Perhaps it was our feminine side that took a toll as we empowered our inner warrior to go out and leave our mark in the world.
As a negotiator in my early twenties with a large majority of male colleagues and clients, I avoided any 'color' that would take the focus out of the content I was buying (literally, my wardrobe was black and white, with the occasional blue and beige). I was technical, precise, in control.
Eloah wears 7/8 Legging Havana
Then during a training my company sent me to, I had a breakthrough! Realizing how much I ached for unstructured human connection - and how tiring keeping control 24/7 had been - I quit that same job and summoned the courage to travel - for what now account for 7 years abroad - learning who I was and how that could be of service to the world.
I still had communication as my vocation as I began facilitating groups: the words gained flavor, emotion, color! They were exciting, and drew people close! I loved it! The soft wild animal in me was rejoicing free from its cage.
It was then that the masculine side got banished. I began (unconsciously) pushing away the warrior side of me altogether. I abandoned most structures, formal jobs and education, established currencies, and got lost in the depths of ‘self-directed’, ‘spontaneous’, ‘alternatives’ with the highest of intentions! The hope was that never would I ever imprison that beautiful gentle feminine side of me again.
These are two tendencies I see happening at large today.
Women have fought many battles to be acknowledged and respected. We have played hard and gotten stronger (mentally and physically). We have mastered the Yang poses. We’ve practiced going for what we wanted and learned to keep it all together, with determination and focus. And it may as well be that we’ve lost passion, excitement, flavor, color, laughter.
Then we realized something was missing. We yearned for variety and color, and we looked everywhere outside for it: food, travels, people. Until we realized it was ourselves who we were missing! The many expressions of ourselves, the change of opinions, the spontaneity, the waves of our emotions! The acceptance of all of that. So we ran on with those like a wild animal, going through life with all heart and no spine.
There are countless men and women who are still to re-encounter their feminine. And perhaps as many men and women who are terrified of ever getting close to their masculine again!
It is ironic to mention on Women’s Month David Deida’s book The Way of The Superior Man as one that radically transformed my ability and willingness to accept the feminine and the masculine coming together. Still, I will do so, because it is when we understand that there is a superior expression of our masculine - and a superior expression of our feminine - growing and sustaining each other, that we can wonder how to create that for ourselves.
Deida suggests that the immutable stable masculine - centered in our highest purpose - be in love and in service of the mutable ever-changing feminine that expresses our calling in its multiple colors! That struck me like lightning!
What a great match! If a stable masculine force can be in service of wild feminine energy then there is NOTHING either of them has to fear: they can grow, and blossom, side by side!
The only question is how do we actually find that new way of being together, ensuring the superior version of the two? My suggestion, for now, is let them talk to each other, playfully and honestly.
One body practice I use for this is playing with opposites. When I find myself in ‘masculine’ mode (completing a transaction for example, or in a Yang pose), I place attention on the lightness and the beauty of the bodies or the voices, often times transitioning in and out with a dance.
When I am in a ‘feminine’ mode (opening up to strangers or in a Ying pose), I place attention on my higher purpose, and the ‘why’ so that the quality of what I am doing has power that supports that free expression and I can keep an eye on the ‘red thread’.
I say keep our masculine side close with the intention that we intentionally use the core strength that we are so well familiar with - and skilled in - to support the changes we are attracted to, time and time again in life. When we know there is a ‘masculine’ force inside us that assures us ‘we’ve got this’, it is so much easier to try out new things, and find the means necessary to transition, as well as making sense of why the heck we are doing it.
At the same time, I urge we keep our feminine side closer, particularly in times when we live by a collective desire to achieve something, and get somewhere. Keeping our feminine closer is a way to lift ourselves and the world of that which infuses life with desire! Of making each day worth living - and each move worth performing - because it is new!
We have been dancing our masculine and feminine since we were born, pushing and pulling, twisting and turning! We might as well phrase our lives and give them both credit for the show!
About the author:
Eloah has 6 solid years of facilitating individuals and groups in bold & authentic ways of relating to themselves and others through voice and movement. She is a daredevil dancer who puts herself out there confidently and at the same time with immense sensitivity! Her content is unedited and sincere: you can trust it is actually her rather than a persona. To get a taste of it, find free techniques at the Dancing Brazilian website or follow her on Instagram and Youtube.
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